Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize