I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
