Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
