He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
