It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
