You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The feeling are messing with the penis
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
