so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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