My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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