: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
