Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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