i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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