when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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