Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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