so explain again why im purple
no
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
