this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize