we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
