Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize