What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
