Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
