Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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