I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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