You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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