Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
