In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
