I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize