I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
