Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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