Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i was born a porn star she said
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize