if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
