hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Bring me that man meat
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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