I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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