Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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