I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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