I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
