i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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