Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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