No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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