She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
