There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
