Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
