you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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