I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This girl is more easily done than said...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
