I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
