I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
