There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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