I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
