I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
