Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
