this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
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Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
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You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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