fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
