not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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