apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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