can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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