Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
