Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
