He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
